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Confrontation and Confession (History/Backdated before comm)
sashimilover wrote in red_moon_comm
Who: Mizuki & Iruka
When: roughly a year and a half to two years before the start of the comm
Where: Mizuki's Apt, Iruka's Apt, and a cafe
Summary: Iruka gets jealous and realizes he doesn't want it to be just friends
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: yaoi pairing but nothing happens


Mizuki smelled the Chinese food even before Tsubaki knocked on the door. He was up in a flash, nimbly jumping over discarded shoes, socks, and the occasional stack of paper. If he had known going into it, Mizuki might have rethought his decision to be a cop just based on all the paperwork he did every day. Well, was supposed to do, in any case.

He jerked the door open just as Tsubaki was bringing her key out of her purse. She blinked in surprise, then her face lit up like it was hit by the sun. Oh, Mizuki loved that look. “Hi,” she said, a little breathlessly. He loved that, too.

“Hi, yourself,” he replied, leaning down close to put a kiss near her jaw. At her shiver, Mizuki grinned and pulled back, tugging her into the apartment at the same time. “What did you bring me?” Mizuki asked, rubbing his hands together with eyes fastened on the bag. He managed to get two plates onto the small kitchen table.

Tsubaki put the brown bag down and pushed a strand of dark hair back. “The usual.” She bit her lip, as if debating to say more, but sat down instead. She doled out noodles and bits of meat first to Mizuki and then to herself. “Is it okay?” She asked anxiously once he had tucked in.

Mizuki raised an eyebrow at her and made some “mmm” noises. She blushed, pink dusting lightly across her cheekbones and picked at her food delicately, looking at her plate instead of her partner.

It was Iruka’s day off which meant Mizuki would have it off, too, so he figured he’d surprise the other and drop in even though they hadn’t made plans. They couldn’t be close at work and Iruka had to resist the urge to kiss him or even just be generally affectionate. At least when anyone else was around. It wasn’t the easiest thing for him to do. When he pulled up in front of the apartment complex he could see the light on in Mizuki’s living room window so there wasn’t any doubt the other was home. He turned the car off and practically bounded up the stairs then took a deep breath to try and get the ridiculously giddy feeling to go away and knocked lightly.

The quiet rapping at his front door sent Mizuki’s formerly growling stomach into an icy pit. He deliberately waited a moment to finish his mouthful before getting up. Tsubaki made to get up after him, but he motioned her to sit back down.

Mizuki swept the debris on the floor away with his foot, neither feeling like stepping over or around the obstacles. Papers slid all over the place, but only noted it absently. He opened the door to see a very happy Umino Iruka standing on his landing, looking for all the world like a kid at a carnival. Mizuki felt himself smile in response, some of his unease retreating now that he was confronting it instead of just dreading what lay on the other side of the door. “Hey, what’s up?” He asked, leaning casually against the door frame.

Iruka grinned and slid a hand to Mizuki’s hip as he leaned forward. “I missed you and thought we could...” His voice trailed off as he caught sight of the girl sitting at the table. “Oh.” He honestly didn’t know what to do so he froze. His stomach felt like it had dropped out from under him right then and he both wanted to turn around and run away and charge in and throw her the door.

Tsubaki had turned around in her seat, watching Mizuki. When Iruka put his hand on Mizuki, she lost her placid expression and stood up, looking confused and concerned. Mizuki turned, still leaning against the door frame but smoothly breaking contact with Iruka while keeping them both in his vision. “I don’t think you two have met. Iruka, Tsubaki; Tsubaki, Iruka,” he introduced, gesturing to each as he said their names. He wasn’t sure how to play this, yet, so he just cruised.

Mizuki considered himself a free spirit, at least in terms of sexuality. Iruka had known before coming into this...whatever it was...that Mizuki regularly slept with various women, sometimes involving himself with more than one at a time. Tsubaki, bless her heart, thought the world of him and would never suspect she was the “other woman”. While he wasn’t quite ready for this confrontation, nor would he choose this place, Mizuki tried.

“I work with Iruka at the station,” Mizuki said to Tsubaki. Turning to Iruka he stated clearly, “And Tsubaki and I are having lunch.”

Forcing himself to smile, Iruka inclined his head at the dark haired woman Mizuki had called Tsubaki. “I’m his partner and we’ve been friends since we were kids.” He elbowed Mizuki in the ribs but didn’t lose the smile. “So how do you know each other?” The answer could be anything for all Iruka knew but he also knew ‘lunch’ was supposed to be more than that. Logically he should leave but while he’d known Mizuki slept with other people he’d never run into them or had it affect his time with him so it’d never really sunk in how much it bothered him.

“Best friends forever,” Mizuki interjected to himself, smiling and looking at the ceiling.

Tsubaki glanced at him, uncertain, then looked back at Iruka. She returned the bow, formally inclining at the waist. “Mizuki and I are dating,” she said quietly. Her eyes sought out Mizuki again, but when he didn’t return her look, she found the floor more interesting for a moment. She finally lifted her head to look Iruka in the eyes. “My family is very fond of him.”

Mizuki inwardly groaned, resisting the urge to facepalm. She made it sound as if he had met them willingly, and not half dragged by his coat sleeve. In fact, the was she said it made it sound as if... Now he looked at her closely. Dark eyes stared back at him, a sweet, indulgent smile on her face. A bad feeling started uncoiling in his stomach.

He stepped out of the doorway as much to forestall the conversation as it was to let Iruka in. “I’m such a bad host. Come in, please.”

Iruka hesitated then stepped inside. “Dating and you’ve met her family?” Iruka hated where this was going. “Sounds serious, practically like you’re engaged...” The laugh that edged into his voice was caused by nerves and the slight panic he was feeling. “...and yet you never even mentioned her.”

“We haven’t been dating that long,” Tsubaki put in. Mizuki glanced at her. It wasn’t like her to volunteer information like this. She gazed back at him and said, “Yet I feel like we’re perfect.” Mizuki barely managed not to gag, or laugh. Either would be disastrous. He put a quick kiss on her cheek to keep her quiet.

“Iruka is just surprised I didn’t tell him.” God only knows why, Mizuki thought to himself. “We’re very close.” At those words, he brushed his fingers over the back of Iruka’s hand, both expression and gesture hidden from Tsubaki’s view. They said that he would explain...eventually. If Tsubaki didn’t take the decision from him first.

“Oh, that’s wonderful,” she gushed, latching onto Mizuki’s other arm. “I’ve noticed Mizuki doesn’t have many close friends. I’m very glad you have each other,” Tsubaki finished, genuinely happy. She beamed at Iruka.

The brush of fingers caught his attention and the polite smile faltered. Iruka stared at where she was clutching Mizuki’s arm for a few moments longer than was polite. It took him a little while to resist the urge to push her away then he smiled again and nodded. “Uhm...” It didn’t register what she’d actually said for a moment. “I’m sorry I’m interrupting, I should probably go so you two can be alone.” The thought made him sick to his stomach but he did his best not to let it show.

Tsubaki inhaled, probably to deny that he was intruding, but Mizuki put a stalling hand on her forearm. He didn’t return her questioning look, instead focusing on Iruka. “You’re not interrupting, but I don’t think we bought enough for three. I’ll treat you to lunch tomorrow.” It wasn’t quite apology, but there was something there aside from a brush-off. He walked Iruka back to the door. “Tomorrow,” he repeated.

Iruka nodded and echoed the ‘tomorrow’ but couldn’t actually force anything else out. He turned and headed down the stairs before Mizuki could even close the door. It was stupid of him to talk to her, to not just find an excuse to run away immediately. Really he wasn’t even entitled to be jealous or upset or nauseous at the fact he doubted they were just having lunch. He ignored the urge to storm back upstairs and tell her in no uncertain terms to get out of Mizuki’s apartment and instead stormed over to his car and drove off. Just because he didn’t have a right to his feelings didn’t mean he didn’t have them and the worst part was on the one hand he was angry at Mizuki, at her, at himself and on the other he really just wanted to crawl into bed and hide under the blankets. He settled for the second because he couldn’t do anything about the first

-----------

He’d been staring at the ceiling long enough it looked like it was moving which was obviously not true and a good sign he needed to get up. The logic was that if he got up he’d have to go find Mizuki and actually deal with things. It was stupid and Iruka hated feeling jealous, particularly when he’d known what the situation was from the start.

Sighing, Iruka pushed himself up and moved to get changed. He felt numb and at the same time he wanted to kick something. “I’m not falling for my best friend.” He rolled his eyes and snorted at how lame he sounded. “You’re an idiot Iruka he dates girls, sleeps with girls, and you’re lucky you get the occasional pity fuck. He’s not interested so suck it up and deal with it.” Saying it out loud only made him feel more like banging his head against a wall.

Once he was done showering he managed to choke down a bowl of rice from the day before and then he dropped onto the couch and stared at his phone. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to call, go over, or if Mizuki would do one or the other. His eyes focused on the line of the battery pack cover and the tiny raised text on the back of it for a while before he finally reached out and picked it up. Stare at it, dial, hang up, and repeat. Frustrated with himself Iruka threw the phone, then cursed when he realized what he’d done. It didn’t break but he didn’t get up to get it either.

Mizuki padded around his apartment in nothing but his boxers. The apartment itself was nearly spotless, thanks entirely to Tsubaki being upset that Mizuki would allow visitors (like Iruka, apparently) to see it in such a state. That had pretty much killed any chance of carnal fun later, though Mizuki might be forced to admit that even he wouldn’t have been in the mood for it after the... confrontation with Iruka.

Huffing to himself as if to blow the thought away, Mizuki decided it was probably time to suck it up and get dressed. He was thankful that his day off was the day before the weekend, even if he did have a shift on Sunday night. He showered and dressed, eventually making his way to the phone while buttoning his shirt. He pushed his damp hair out of his eyes and dialed Iruka’s home number, ignoring the fluttering in his stomach.

He caught himself mouthing ‘don’t pick up, don’t pick up’ like a mantra, and forced himself to stop and just listen to the ringing.

Iruka jumped when the phone rang and nearly fell off of the couch in the process. He grabbed it then stared at it, knowing he should answer and dreading doing so. It was Mizuki’s number but it took him a full three more rings before he pressed the ‘talk’ button. “Hey.” The single word was all he could force out.

Mizuki let out the breath he’d been holding. So much for divine intervention. “Hey,” he replied easily. He reminded himself that yesterday’s awkwardness hadn’t been his fault. It sounded more hollow than it did before. “I was thinking we could go to that little cafe near the shopping district. ‘Miki’s Place’ or whatever it is.” They had been there before, getting a small lunch after a shopping excursion. Mizuki was more often in his uniform than not, but he still liked nice clothes.

“Sure.” Iruka wasn’t sure what else to say and he couldn’t tell by Mizuki’s voice if his friend was mad at him. The fact that it was a public place wasn’t a bad sign necessarily, at least he hoped it wasn’t. “When? Now?”

Making a face, Mizuki realized that he couldn’t see any clocks. “Well, for lunch, I thought. What time is it now?” Yes, mild irritation was better than squeamishness.

Glancing over at the DVD player Iruka shifted the phone to his other hand. “Just after eleven.” It wasn’t that far and if he wanted he could probably walk there in time for lunch. “I can meet you there in an hour.”

It was later than he had thought. Mizuki nodded, even though Iruka couldn’t see him. “Sounds fine. See you there.” He barely waited for a reply before returning the phone to its cradle. He stood up, one hip cracking audibly, and went off in search of shoes.

Iruka stared at the phone for a moment then clicked it off and dropped it on the couch. For reasons he didn’t want to think about he got up and went to change, deliberately picking things that he knew looked good on him. He pulled on the faded blue jeans that showed his ass off then grabbed a black mesh top and a white button up which he left half undone. None of it was new and hopefully that would keep it from being obvious. Pulling his hair back again he slipped his shoes on and headed for the cafe. It cost him time to change and he considered driving then decided against it. Maybe being late for once would make him seem less desperate or less pathetic.


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Mizuki stared into his cooling coffee, spoon clinking softly as he stirred it. Iruka was late. His sour look turned worse at the thought. This was ridiculous, Iruka was never late. He had nearly beaten it into Mizuki that you never showed up late when someone was expecting you. Having the minor upper hand of already being seated did not help his mood.

He tossed the spoon aside with a clatter and a disgusted noise. He caught the waitress’s nervous eye and smiled charmingly. She smiled back, relieved, and returned to her tables. Mizuki returned to sullenly staring at the people walking by.

He actually felt a little guilty about being late when he saw Mizuki sitting there. He pushed the door open and tried not to cringe when the bell clanged. “Sorry I...” He hesitated, not wanting to admit to changing clothes. It seemed manipulative to do so. “I ran into somebody on the way.” The excuse almost sounded good except for the hesitation. Iruka walked over and sat down across from Mizuki, resisting the urge to rub his scar - a nervous habit that would be a dead give away he was lying about why he was late.

The waitress came over and poured him a cup of coffee before setting a menu down in front of them both and disappearing.

Iruka stared at the cup before picking it up. He didn’t drink it just held it. The last thing he wanted was something with a ton of caffeine when his nerves were fried the way they were.

Mizuki was quiet as Iruka sat down. He opened his mouth to say something scathing about what he could possibly be doing with someone else that would make him late, but ended up cutting it off with a click of teeth. Mizuki reminded himself that this was his idea, that they were here for them to...ugh...talk.

“Tsubaki thinks she’s my girlfriend,” Mizuki stated bluntly, sipping at his luke-warm coffee. There would be no beating around the bush this time.

Iruka looked down, pretended to study the menu, and nodded. “She made that a little obvious.” The girlfriend part of it was only part of what bothered him, he didn’t miss the ‘thinks’ but he also didn’t comment on it. “She’s... nice.” She was too which was annoying because it made it hard for Iruka to actually hate her.

Mizuki shrugged. “She’s compliant.” The toast that he had ordered earlier arrived, and he paused to let the waitress leave before continuing. He hadn’t felt much like eating--still didn’t, in fact--but he took a bite and said around the mouthful, “I didn’t ask her, or anything. She just...assumes.” He wondered vaguely if it sounded like he was defending himself.

His eyes skimmed down Iruka’s font, noting the mesh shirt. Iruka knew Mizuki liked mesh. He continued, “Like how she assumes that just because we’re friends, it doesn’t mean we’re more than that.”

“We’re not though...” That was the point really, that they could sleep together without having to worry about all of the problems of a relationship. He looked up from the menu and the coffee he hadn’t touched. “It’s fine. I mean it’s not like I didn’t know.” It didn’t change the fact that it bothered him or that he wanted Mizuki to himself. Iruka smiled and ignored the fact that knowing didn’t change that he hated the idea of Mizuki with anyone else. He’d simply either refused to think about it or told himself that what they had was different. The fact that Tsubaki was so completely casual about her and Mizuki’s relationship meant that wasn’t quite as true as he’d hoped. He wanted to tell him how unfair it felt, that he should stop seeing her, stop seeing everyone else... instead he sat there smiling and looking up at him from under the bits of hair that had come free from his ponytail.

“You shouldn’t lie. You’re bad at it,” Mizuki rejoined. He sometimes wondered how Iruka got along, repressing what he did. Which was everything that made him want to shout at other people. Considering his doormat status, that had to be a whole lot of repressing. Really, it’s just bad for your health. Mizuki, on the other hand, preferred transference and complete denial. “I’m not a mind reader, and I don’t care to know what goes on in there,” he waved a spoon in the direction of Iruka’s forehead, his tone leaving no room for misconception just what he thought of Iruka’s mind, “but even I can tell you don’t like her.”

And it was fine that Iruka didn’t like Tsubaki. Really. Because it wasn’t Iruka’s business what Mizuki did on his off time. It’s not like they had set up rules to this little friend-fuck party. Mizuki ignored the plaintive tone his thoughts had acquired.

“I’m not lying,” Iruka pouted because he was and because outside of his best friends he was actually good at it. He just didn’t like to lie to his friends and that made it harder that and they’d learned all of his tells. “She seems nice enough so there’s no reason for me to hate her.” It was the truth even if it had a double meaning to it. “I should have called instead of just coming over.” Iruka looked back at the menu and tried to find something to eat that didn’t make his stomach turn. He didn’t want to be there and at the same time he did. “You should tell her though that... well that she’s not your girlfriend.” It wasn’t fair to her and Iruka hated that it actually made him feel bad for her. At least he knew.

Mizuki raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?” He said mildly. His smile was like sweet poison. “Whether or not she’s my girlfriend is none of your concern. According to you, we’re nothing more than friends, right?” The soft, almost toneless words just bubbled up out of Mizuki’s mouth without thought. The world dimmed to just him, the table, and Iruka. He knew, logically, that this was an adrenaline reaction, but couldn’t fathom why Iruka set him off.

Iruka looked up, then frowned and looked away. “If she’s your girlfriend then I was right and it’s not like you argued anyway. It’s even what you told her so obviously that’s what she’d assume.” He was sulking but they were in public and yelling wasn’t really an option even if he did have the sudden urge to throw his coffee cup across the room.

“I told her nothing,” Mizuki hissed, his demeanor whiplashing. He stared at Iruka’s averted face with narrowed eyes. “Don’t go assuming things you know nothing about.” People were starting to glance sidelong at them, but for once, Mizuki didn’t care. “What do you want from me, Umino Iruka?”

The looks were making Iruka increasingly uncomfortable and he shifted and set his cup down, trying to distract himself from the fact they were making a scene. Their waitress was very politely keeping her distance which only made him feel more like either climbing under the table or leaving. “I...” It was a stupid thing to say but if he didn’t then he’d regret it and if he did he’d probably regret it to. The only difference was maybe not having to put up with Tsubaki. “I don’t want to share, okay?” He said it barely loud enough for Mizuki to hear and he glanced around hoping nobody else actually heard.

Mizuki paused. He looked up at the ceiling as if to collect himself, jaw set and eyes still narrow. Doesn’t want to share. What was he, some toy to be jealous over? “It’s not about ‘sharing’, Iruka,” he finally said, still looking up. “You knew how I was before getting into this.” He did, too. They had been friends for a long time before either of them got this misbegotten idea. He looked back at Iruka, mentally compelling him to meet his eyes. His hard stare did not soften his words, “Maybe we should stop.”

He knew that would be the result but it still wasn’t what he wanted to hear. The suggestion that they stop got him to look at Mizuki. “Forget I said anything.” He didn’t know for sure that Tsubaki was his girlfriend, Mizuki hadn’t exactly said she wasn’t. So as much as he hated the fact that it made Iruka feel like Mizuki was cheating on her with him he didn’t actually want to stop. He liked what they had, he just didn’t like that it wasn’t just theirs.

Mizuki planted his elbows on the table, his face in his palms. Luckily for the other cafe goers, his obscenities were effectively muffled. “God, what are we doing?” What did, he, Mizuki, even want out of this relationship? Iruka seemed to want monogamy. Or, at least not to know about Mizuki’s flings. Ignorance and bliss, and all that. He peered out at Iruka from between his fingers. “Let’s just drop it. We’ll figure something out,” he said, regret in his voice. It was a flag of truce, of sorts. It was as close to an apology Iruka was going to wring from him.

“Yeah.” Iruka tried to ignore everyone else even if it felt like they were all staring at the two of them by this point. He wasn’t sure how to change the subject at this point though it was obvious they needed to. “I’m not really hungry...” Maybe if they got out of there and weren’t being stared out he’d feel less uncomfortable.

Digging around in his pocket, Mizuki found enough money to cover their meager meal and more than enough for a tip. He placed it on the table and stood up. “C’mon, let’s get out of this place. I feel like the main attraction at a zoo.” He shot a look at a particularly nosy woman, who subsequently found her plate much more interesting. He turned back to Iruka, a half sad smile on his face. He held out a hand, both in silent apology and to help Iruka stand in the crowded quarters.

Iruka sighed, nodded, then took Mizuki’s hand. It was unfair of him to expect things to change just because he wanted them to. “Yeah I feel the same way.” Iruka loved being the center of attention, just not right then and not like that.



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